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Beer Philosophers

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.
I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer.
You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons,  but at the very least you need a beer.
Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer.  Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
There's not much to be said for sightseeing.  You go somewhere that has a waterfall. You have a beer, watch the water go over the edge, and move on.  Tours are all the same.  In the end, the only thing that matters is the beer.
Buy a man a beer and he wastes an hour.  Teach a man to brew and he wastes a lifetime.
People who drink light beer don't like the taste of beer; they just like to pee a lot.
Benjamin Franklin
Kaiser Wilhelm
Homer Simpson
Frank Zappa
Dave Barry
Jack McDevitt
Unknown
Unknown

Other Boozy Philosophers

I drink to make other people interesting.
Work is the curse of the drinking class.
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
George Jean Nathan
Oscar Wilde
Henny Youngman
Humphrey Bogart
Dean Martin
W.C. Fields
Ernest Hemingway